True Story

The rest of the day was quite normal.

The days of an unemployed bum (me)

The Saga about the Emotional Zombie Part 1

We all know, unfortunately, that vampires and other supernatural creatures have been ruined over the last years. This I have seen various bloggers express their frustration over many times, so I will not be the first one moaning about; Twilight, The Vampire diaries (My blog name has NOTHING to do with that title), True Blood and others. Suddenly this bloodthirsty, ugly looking, creature we feared as kids, now have "little" feelings, and walk this earth philosophizing over things, and more crap like that. They are not evil death machines that turn into bats and fear garlic. Instead they glitter in the sun, and fall in love, and fight the monster inside them, so they can be with their special little human girl/boy for the rest of their human life. It is sad indeed....so I decided that I would ruin the only supernatural creature that has maintained its fearful self trough out the years! So sorry! Here it goes:

How will it go?

Will the Girl accept the Emotional Zombie, as the true monster he really is?

Will he turn evil and eat her brains? Or maybe her friends brains?

The saga will continue my faithful reader/readers, very VERY soon, on a computer near you! 

The Adventures of Ham

It will be a short, but good one today folks! 

I am on a plane....BLOGGING!

I have only had this blog for a short amount of time. I realize that my drawings are very poor, and that I am not good at the Internet at all. But I am learning each day, I am even starting to learn how to use Twitter. Google + is still a big mystery to me, but maybe someone out there, like a master of the internet, will find me and tell me how to use it?
I see in my head a very wise man, probably from South Korea or India, or some other Asian country (I know I am being very stereotypical here, but at the end of the day, we all know its true, Asians are the masters of the Internet). But until this Master of the Internet finds me I am alone here just trying to get by on the little knowledge I have.
The good news is that I have ordered myself a tablet. Yes, my awesome readers, I have come so far in my technology knowledge that I have discovered that in order to make great comics I will need a tablet so my skills can improve. This is going to make great changes I tell you, my good friend (or I hope ‘friends’; that there are indeed more of you that read this blog).
I am also lucky that my little sister, who is eight years younger than me, is very good with this whole Internet thing - she even makes cool websites, where she writes about horses, and posts wonderful pictures, click here: http://saraleasvensdottir.weebly.com/index.html , if you want to see something that is actually well made. Anyway, I am lucky to have her and her Internet skills and movie skills. So, I promise you, the next Viking movie is going to be improved by the maximum and it is going to be MIND BLOWING.

It is going to have explosions like this:

And awesome music, and proper sound! It will be wonderful I tell you.

And then when I get my tablet my pictures is going to stop being like this:

And be more like this:

If you are wondering this is: Brudeferd i Hardanger by Adolph Tidemand, a great Norwegian artist from the 19th century.

So be aware my faithful reader, this is going to get better and be more awesome, I am going all Spielberg on this sh**! When you click on to my web site it is going to be all like: BRAIN EXPLODING BY AWESOMENESS:

And the last and most brain-exploding thing about this whole blog post today is that I am sitting on a plane blogging! OH MY GOD, I am on a plane online!  

P.S

All of what I have promised you in this blogpost may or may not happen....

Typical scenes from a Hollywood movie

You know in movies, when they are desperate to make some excitement?

It is this typical scene, in like all Hollywood movies, where one of the main characters sneaks into the bad guys room, or office, looking for something really important, and then the bad guy is coming, walking down the corridor. 

The director is desperately trying to KILL you with excitement, but you know that the good guy somehow finds the really really important thing and gets out of the room somehow in a spilt second, right before the bad guy comes into the room. That is what this comic is about: 

I kind of felt like this is a typical scene in a movie starring Jason Statham, so the good guy is bald, and so is the bad guy, since we never really know which one he is.

But Hollywood, keep it coming, never change, don't ever come up with something new and unpredictable. Because I think that would blow our small little human brains, and I don't know if there are many of us that could handle it. I even think it would be more hysteria than when Facebook changes it lay outs or looks. Which I really hate when happens by the way!  

The first Competition of the year!

Today I was going to write about something awesome.

But I decided not to.

Instead I am going to make a montage of me, and my horse from the competition we where on this weekend.

It was my first competition in probably 5 years, and the first time I have really ridden a horse in three years, the outfall of this was: Complete disaster.

I probably had one of the best horses on the competition, but because I am such a lunatic, and can’t really ride a horse, we just looked like two object that should never have been put together, here are some examples:

Like putting sugar on fish: 

Or let a dog fly a plane:

Or get a man without hands to build a house:

So as you understand it did not go really well for me....

But I got a good montage out of it, and here you go:

Vala the lunatic on a good horse picture one:

We where both really excited for the competition, just in two different ways.

The most disturbing thing about this picture is that he was standing looking at his sister (the white horse you see the foot of in the picture)....

Vala the lunatic on a good horse picture two:

"WOHO I am so stocked right now! I am going to win this Mother f*** thing!

Mum take a picture of me being excited so I can show on my blog!"

Vala the lunatic on a good horse picture 3:

I have no idea what I am trying to do here...maybe some sort of Horse whisperer technique, who knows!

Vala the lunatic on a good horse picture 4:

I am so so happy here, nothing is going to break my stride! 

WOHO I AM ON A HORSE!!!! 

Lucid Dreaming

Or:

Or:

And last:

Lucid dreams are the Best! 

Why it is hard when your Parent is a Psychologist..

The Evil truth about Hamsters: Be aware, this will blow your mind!

Hamsters: those cute little things that you keep in your room in cages. You can take them out and play with them and you never have to think about them ever doing any harm. This is what I thought too, so don’t be embarrassed, I was a fool like you all.

It was a beautiful spring day in May, I was probably around 11 years old, the time where all girls start to harass their parents about cute little things they can have in cages. Who hasn’t heard this phrase (or said it): “I promise, I will clean the cage, just please give me one!”
I did, and I won the battle - my mum stupidly gave into my request for a hamster and we went to the pet store to get one. But when we arrived the hamsters all lived together and the woman that worked there assured us that they would feel lonely if we didn’t take at least two (that evil monster of a saleswoman, if I ever meet her again I will give her a piece of my mind). So there we left, I was so overly happy and assured that my hamsters would live a happy ever after life. And since they where both girls we would never have to worry about babies.

The thing that makes Hamsters monsters rule # 1:
Even if the evil sales woman assure you they are both girls, you can never know, because they can apparently hide their real gender really well. And just a couple of weeks later you have at least doubled your amount of Hamsters.

The thing that makes Hamsters monsters rule # 2:
You now have to take care of at least four hamsters, and get a new cage, which makes the job you promised your mom in the first place pretty hard to uphold!

The thing that makes Hamsters monsters rule # 3:
You might not know that these little babies mature really REALLY quickly, and then the father of the original babies makes more babies with his previous babies. This results in tiny hamsters that are riddled with incest, and never mature and just lay there without ever getting hair or growing. So in the end your mum has to flush them in the toilet, or get rid of them in some other traumatic way.

Now that you have learned all there is to be aware of , I can tell you the worst of all worst things that happened to me.
I had now separated all of the hamsters except two that were together in a cage because they seemed to get on really well. One day when I was going to school I looked down on them and they where playing “you are it”, with one running after the other all over the cage. It made me smile and laugh and I went of to school thinking that now my troubles where finally over. I was wrong. I came home, did my homework, ate my dinner and then went up to my room to check on my little sweethearts. What I stumbled upon was like the bloodiest CSI crime scene you can ever imagine! The truth was, they where certainly not playing when I left them in the morning. Apparently one of them was actually running for his life! The other hamster had been running around biting the other, until it was too tired to keep going. And the bloodthirsty bastard killer had not stopped there. It had start eating the other poor hamster from its back, pulling out its insides and spreading them all over the cage. I was devastated, I looked with great fear in my eyes at my bloodthirsty psycho killer hamster, and it looked back at me, and I could see he was happy with his sick gruesome cannibalistic work. That is when I really realized: Hamsters are EVIL. Pure evil, sent from the Devil himself. No animal that is supposed to eat only vegetation eats it’s own friend, when he has loads of food and water. This is just evil, nothing else.

Since then I have always expressed my feelings for hamsters in a negative way, and swore from that day that I would never come near one again.
It was therefore not a good surprise when my sister (again the same age), came home with one. I told her my horrible experience with these gruesome, horrible animals, but she said as long as it was alone and got loads of attention it would be fine. But my sister is away at her fathers every other week, and that makes it very hard, cause then it is up to me or my mum to give it food and other supplies. It went well until the week my mum went away and me and hamster where alone in the house. I went and walked around the cage for ages, cursing the little bastard for even existing. Then I looked at it, and as you know, these bloodthirsty cannibals are really cute to look at, example here:

But really I know, that when we look away they really are something like this: 

But good hearted as I am, I started thinking: Maybe I should give this one a change? It looks nice enough..
I walked to the cage and opened it, as soon as it came out of its little house I quickly changed my mind. I will not be able to play with this animal, or cuddle with it. There are just too many memories(just see picture above and you will know what I am talking about). So I sat down, and as usual when I sit down my brain finally start to think, and I found a solution to the problem, so I did not have to even get the hamster out of it’s cage, but still keep it company: