Sick day, that means topics like: BEARDS!!!! and some s*** about bad TV

You know how being sick sucks?
Yeah I bet you do.
Your body is fighting an inner battle with some kind of virus or other badass stuff, so you shut down for a while and it hurts to move and speak about complicated stuff like space, maths, elves, bears, whales and other wonderful stuff that I am sure that everybody else loves. The battle going on inside you is like taken out from one of the intense scenes in all the Vietnam war movies or LOTR, so your body just can’t concentrate on anything else.
When this happens to me I also tend to fall into a deep depression, which is followed by self-pity, as though I’ve just been diagnosed with some kind of life threatening disease, and my mum gets really frustrated with me and tells me to man up, which makes it even worse, and I end up in my bed for days without moving and I curse everybody for not understanding my pain and the horrors my body is experiencing.
This then ends up with me watching everything on the TV, which tends to be a load of crap that is not doing anyone any good. Unfortunately for me last time I was going through this awful deseace, called the flu, sounds like it is just a little thing, but it is not! I imagine it to be almost as bad as childbirth, and I think many men will agree with me on this one. Anyway, there was Gossip Girl marathon on one of the channels, and the remote was like at least three meters away from me, and in that moment my body was almost losing the war against all the evil viruses and I just couldn’t move. It had NOTHING to do with me wanting to watch this program. But it ended up that way. I got sucked into it, I just sat there like in some kind of trance, unable to move, and unable to think. Which makes Gossip Girl really easy to watch, because when you’re in a state where you’re not able to think or move, it is quite a good series to watch.
As the day went by, my body started to win the epic battle that was going on inside me, I see it like the scene in LOTR where Gandalf comes on a white horse and saves the day. Eventually my brain slowly started to work and I realized what was going on in this series, and I began to angrily find huge, gaping holes in the terrible story lines.
So I made this, which I call, the Big Black Holes In Gossip Girl’s Plot:

• How do you get cake so fast? I mean, every time you have a last minute party, which is like every episode, you get the best cakes ever, and there’s more than one, it is like hundreds of cakes, just on a last minute call to the baker? Is he a magician this baker? Does he poop them out? How does it even work?
• And why is it that when you call someone they pick up on the first ring? Are they all just sitting by the phone constantly and waiting for a call about a new massive upper east side Manhattan scheme?
• And why is it when you hang up, or leave the room, you never say goodbye to each other? You just leave the other one hanging there like a massive creep. Like, are you trying to make an awkward situation on purpose here? Have you rich people got no manners?

I found myself sitting there shouting at the TV, and then I realized, I just love sitting and hating this don’t I? You massive weirdo, I thought to myself…
But before I end this horrible blog post I just have to say one more thing about this show that I really hate: Why does nobody have a beard?!
I LOVE beards! And I am sure that if there were more beards in this show I would have maybe liked it a little more.
So I am not making this blog about Gossip Girl and the big black holes in their stupid rich lives, this is going to be about beards. Every male should have one… why?
Here are some examples:


Here is one of the guys in Gossip Girl:

Is he lame or not?!

But look at this:

YEEAH! Suddenly I like him!

* It makes you look more wild and mysterious, and it looks like you know how to chop wood.

* It can also make you look smarter like our favorite author in Norway, Henrik Ibsen, photo here:

Doesn't he look smart?!
*It is manly, it well with all kinds of clothes and makes your face look bigger than it really is.
* Girls don’t want to kiss some smoothed faced pretty boy. We want a man with a beard that looks like he can uphold an intelligent conversation, build things, and fight a bear if necessary  

So I want to make a Beard Awareness Day, you know like we have Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Secretary Days and a lot of other highly important days? We should have one for beards as well. People need to know that beards are highly necessary for the world to have. This is very important you guys, so here is a photo for you:

So step up to everyone! FIGHT FOR BEARDS, like my awesome white blood cells fought bravely for me today, and you know what? They won! Cause they’re winners! So be a winner and let that Beard grow out. 


Here are some guys that we all love, because of their beards, and to show you how important it is to have a beard I have made a little montage of pictures to prove my point: 


Ryan Gosling:
Without a beard: Meh....

With beard: YEAH!

Robert Downey Jr.

Without beard: Meh...

With beard: YEAH!!! 

Edward Norton.

Without a beard: Meh...

With beard: HELL YEAH

And to prove my point even more, here is me with a beard:

YEAH!! WINNING! 

Hope you all see how important beards are! 

xoxo