The days of an unemployed bum (me)

I am back! So lets talk about Hipsters!

Hi everyone!


Now, it has been a long time, almost a month. In my defense it is hard to write a blog when you are at places with no internet...but now I am back for good, never will I travel for so long again without internet, or at least that is the plan. 
What I love the most about traveling must be the people watching, because I live in north Norway, where I mostly meet foxes, squirrels and bears, getting out in the world and seeing people is my favorite thing. And my God there is a lot of weirdoes hanging about! What I mostly saw this time where Hipsters. Loads of young "cool" go getters, in some retro outfit claiming that every bands earlier stuff was better than it is now. I found this "Hipster way of life" very interesting, and decided to study it, like David Attenborough studies bugs or other animals. So I spent my days looking trough two holes in a news paper, trying to understands this weird looking crowed, their nature and how they behave in social situations, and -my biggest question of all - if there are different kinds of them. 
So I hereby represent to you, with photos and short writing (I know how our generation lacks of concentration and time these days): 

The Scientific Study of Hipsters 

The word Hipster first pops up in the 1940's, these where some badass kids that listened to Jazz, dressed in smart clothing - often with a cool and respectable hat - they smoked weed, and where relaxed to sexual codes. Just look at this cool cat here: 

Photo taken from: mens-fashion.lovetoknow.com/

 You can see here that Hipsters today still take after their ancestors. Todays Hipsters often wears smart hats, they likes stripes, and are attracted to old looking things.


They seem to like everything that is called retro, like for example styles that are from another time then ours. 
The Hipster seems to not be aware that the old styles that they are claiming to bring back, is often exactly what is on the catwalk this year, so they are all, really, just dressing in what H&M, Topshop, Zara and others, are wanting them to buy. This they are totally oblivious to. Here is a typical picture of Hipsters:

Photo taken of: http://www.broadsheet.ie/

In the same time as the Hipster likes the old stuff it also seems quite attracted to technology. A typical Hipster always has the newest smart phone, headphones, computer, iPad, iPod etc. It also keeps updated on music and new coffee shops. 


Hipsters are a smarty pants, they always know best. No matter what you say they seem to like the opposite, and come with comments like this: 
"Well I liked his older stuff better per se" 
"Now, I don't know about you, but I prefer the newest *some kind of technology crap*, its just so much better than the old one"
"Oh these glasses? I found them in my grand dads basement, real Old School, not like that fake stuff everybody else has." The weird thing is that they all have glasses from their grand dads basement, so that can mean two things, one: They can't see that everybody around them also have the real one's. Or two: They all have fake crap?  


The thing about the Hipsters, they are unaware of that they are one. They all think they are special and unique, and that no one dresses like them, has the same smart phone as them, or listens to the same music as them. Even if they are all standing in a group together, everybody wearing their grand dads old glasses, accompanied by beat headphones, and the iPhone 4s. 


In my research I indeed found evidence of there being two different types of Hipsters. We have:


1. The Stereotypical Hipster:

Photo taken from: http://thedabbler.co.uk/

These are the Hipsters that are most aware of them being Hipsters, and they are indeed proud of it. You see them everywhere, they are the most typical type of Hipsters. They like raving, taking pictures of themselves in the bathroom before going out, and often have a blog that often includes pictures of coffee, weird colorful signs and their outfits. 

2. The Closet Hipster

Photo taken from: http://thedailymaggot.com

These are probably the worst kinds of Hipsters. They are totally unaware of them being Hipsters, and therefor think they are the most special people to walk this earth. They are THE "wear their grand dads basement glasses" people, they also have tattoos "nobody" else has - often with a very unique background story - and often have very strong meanings about crap you don't want to talk about. Warning!! Don't get stuck in a conversation for to long with this kind of Hipster, you might get lured into their self obsessive universe, and end up smelling your own farts.

There might be more types of Hipsters that I haven't yet discovered, if I do I will let you know. 

The only thing I found positive about this weird species is that they all seem to be party animals. That's right, a thing all Hipsters love is a good party. That is why you see them in every drinking situations like raves, clubs, festivals, even in pubs. And I can't say anything negative about that. They also don't like to fight or cause trouble, which makes them excellent background people for your night out. Just don't end up talking to them for to long...as said before they might suck you into some kind of Hipster dimension you can't get out of! 

A little patriotism coming your way!

I have not written in a while, almost a whole week. 
This is because I am finally busy with other stuff, you can almost say that I got a real life suddenly. 
The reason for this sudden blossom in my life is that I am currently on holiday, in my home country Iceland. That means chillin' with friends and family, being Vikings, you know. Here is a picture of how it is being in Iceland and doing Viking stuff:

 Anyways I thought that I should do a little Icelandic awareness list, just because I am feeling a little patriotic:


1. Icelandic Horses is the biggest sport in Iceland, even bigger that football!
2. The population is: 320 060, that is not many!
3. We got awesome knitwear: 

4. We speak Icelandic; yes we got our own language.
5. There are volcano's here!
6. Icelandic Vikings found America first, and they even brought a child to the world (Yeah Columbus, you can go F*** yourself).
7. Alcohol was banned until 1988.
8. Game of Thrones, James Bond and Batman Begins where all filmed in Iceland.
9. The girls here are very pretty, but unfortunately the boys are not....I have seen this my self, and heard complaints from many Icelandic girls. 
10. We got some awesome hot springs! 


So that is it from me today, now I am of to the biggest Icelandic horse competition in Iceland, there is attending ridiculous amount of people. 


Bæ! (That is bye in Icelandic, it is pronounced just like the English bye, so now you know a word in Icelandic!)    

Things I love to hate

I have come to the conclusion that I must be a little mad. This may come as a shock to you all, but it’s true. I catch myself watching, reading or doing stuff that really irritates me, but I end up doing it anyway, because I kind of love to sit there and hate it.
I sometimes sit around watching a program, getting all wound up and shouting at the TV, all like “What the hell is this?! Why are you going into the basement alone you crazy sod?!” and realise I’m really enjoying myself. Yeah, I love to sit and point out faults in TV series, magazines, movies, Facebook statuses etc., etc. Which makes me kind of a bitter weirdo really? But oh well, it is not going to change so I am just going to make this bitter blog post anyway.
Here is the list of the things I love to hate, and why:

Blogs that have pictures of people’s coffee and food and pointless information about all the things they did in their day. A typical one of those:

Hi all my fancy readers!

Are you all feeling absolutely fab today?
I know I am! This is my lucky day. I woke up just feeling all rested and excited, I went to meet my friend for coffee and breakfast, we just chatted for ages, and it was so much fun. Then I went and got my hair done, and guess what I am a total BLONDIE now!! OMG! After this I cleaned the whole flat, did some yoga, fed the ducks in the park, and now I am going to make dinner and have some friends over! Hopefully they will bring some wine, I sure deserve it!
Here are some pictures from today:

(This is the typical picture, I have seen hundreds of these. Why is it so important to take a picture of your coffee? We all drink coffee or tea, it is not something special or unusual that is only happening in your life!)

 

 

(Then it is the close up on their food, which never looks good. It is typical just a boring picture of toast, which again, nothing special about it, just makes me love to hate the blog even more..)

Then it always ends with something like this:

How was your day? Also FAB?!
Lots of kisses my dear loved ones xxx
(Underneath this will be a thousands of comments saying: OMG, I had coffee today too! You rock, love your pics!)

My dear beloved blogger, you must be lying about all of this. This is simply not possible. I never wake up feeling rested and excited, I wake up with a horrible taste in my mouth, dribble all over my pillow and myself, and I never feel excited about leaving my bed! When I have finally won this battle within, gotten up and started my day, I know that all of this is just not feasible in the 15 hours we have before we need sleep again. First getting up and dressed, make up (which I know you take a lot of time with, because I have seen your pathetic mirror pictures taken in your bathroom), that is at least two hours. Then you went for coffee and chatted for ages, I take that as two hours at least! Then the hairdresser which is also two hours, (we are now up in 6 hours), then you have cleaned the whole house and done yoga? That must be 4 hours! Feed the ducks, half hour, then dinner and friends over?! And I haven’t even taken the pee breaks, travel time from coffee shop to home, home to yoga, yoga to feed ducks, getting the groceries for the night, and getting home into the equation. How is this all possible? And not to mention that you had to write this blog post too! You are lying about your day! I don’t believe that this life of yours is real. Stop lying and just admit that you are no better then the rest of us. Sometimes you walk around in your pajamas all day, and watch shit TV, but dude, it is okay to do that. And I would have been impressed by you for only cleaning your house and doing yoga! That would be enough for me. You have just created some kind of fictional superhero blog where Time is the villain and you are winning over TIME. That is not what life is about, winning over time. Just calm down, and stop lying about doing EVERYTHING in one day, and enjoy it instead. It sounds very stressful, that is if you are not on speed or coke or something. Which makes you a drug addict, and that is NOT cool.

I see now that I really, REALLY loved to hate this topic. It became longer then I had expected, so instead of making a list of more things, I will continue this later! Anyway, yeah I am a retard for reading these blogs and then blogging about how much I hate them, but at least they are getting their blog read! Doesn’t matter to them if I like it or not as long as I am not commenting mean stuff, which I don’t do, I just keep it to my own blog and make up a fake blog post I can rip on.
Yeah I really am weird… Here is a picture of how fresh and rested I look in the morning:

 SEE? Not happy, excited, rested or fabulous! Just really sad for having to wake up and get out of bed. 

The Saga about the Emotional Zombie Part 2

The Saga continues....unfortunately

How my friend became a Dragon

My friend told me this incredible story from when he was little. And I thought that the only sensible thing to do with this piece of information was to make a comic strip about it:

And that is how my friend became a dragon. 

The Saga about the Emotional Zombie Part 1

We all know, unfortunately, that vampires and other supernatural creatures have been ruined over the last years. This I have seen various bloggers express their frustration over many times, so I will not be the first one moaning about; Twilight, The Vampire diaries (My blog name has NOTHING to do with that title), True Blood and others. Suddenly this bloodthirsty, ugly looking, creature we feared as kids, now have "little" feelings, and walk this earth philosophizing over things, and more crap like that. They are not evil death machines that turn into bats and fear garlic. Instead they glitter in the sun, and fall in love, and fight the monster inside them, so they can be with their special little human girl/boy for the rest of their human life. It is sad indeed....so I decided that I would ruin the only supernatural creature that has maintained its fearful self trough out the years! So sorry! Here it goes:

How will it go?

Will the Girl accept the Emotional Zombie, as the true monster he really is?

Will he turn evil and eat her brains? Or maybe her friends brains?

The saga will continue my faithful reader/readers, very VERY soon, on a computer near you! 

The Adventures of Ham

It will be a short, but good one today folks! 

I am on a plane....BLOGGING!

I have only had this blog for a short amount of time. I realize that my drawings are very poor, and that I am not good at the Internet at all. But I am learning each day, I am even starting to learn how to use Twitter. Google + is still a big mystery to me, but maybe someone out there, like a master of the internet, will find me and tell me how to use it?
I see in my head a very wise man, probably from South Korea or India, or some other Asian country (I know I am being very stereotypical here, but at the end of the day, we all know its true, Asians are the masters of the Internet). But until this Master of the Internet finds me I am alone here just trying to get by on the little knowledge I have.
The good news is that I have ordered myself a tablet. Yes, my awesome readers, I have come so far in my technology knowledge that I have discovered that in order to make great comics I will need a tablet so my skills can improve. This is going to make great changes I tell you, my good friend (or I hope ‘friends’; that there are indeed more of you that read this blog).
I am also lucky that my little sister, who is eight years younger than me, is very good with this whole Internet thing - she even makes cool websites, where she writes about horses, and posts wonderful pictures, click here: http://saraleasvensdottir.weebly.com/index.html , if you want to see something that is actually well made. Anyway, I am lucky to have her and her Internet skills and movie skills. So, I promise you, the next Viking movie is going to be improved by the maximum and it is going to be MIND BLOWING.

It is going to have explosions like this:

And awesome music, and proper sound! It will be wonderful I tell you.

And then when I get my tablet my pictures is going to stop being like this:

And be more like this:

If you are wondering this is: Brudeferd i Hardanger by Adolph Tidemand, a great Norwegian artist from the 19th century.

So be aware my faithful reader, this is going to get better and be more awesome, I am going all Spielberg on this sh**! When you click on to my web site it is going to be all like: BRAIN EXPLODING BY AWESOMENESS:

And the last and most brain-exploding thing about this whole blog post today is that I am sitting on a plane blogging! OH MY GOD, I am on a plane online!  

P.S

All of what I have promised you in this blogpost may or may not happen....

Typical scenes from a Hollywood movie

You know in movies, when they are desperate to make some excitement?

It is this typical scene, in like all Hollywood movies, where one of the main characters sneaks into the bad guys room, or office, looking for something really important, and then the bad guy is coming, walking down the corridor. 

The director is desperately trying to KILL you with excitement, but you know that the good guy somehow finds the really really important thing and gets out of the room somehow in a spilt second, right before the bad guy comes into the room. That is what this comic is about: 

I kind of felt like this is a typical scene in a movie starring Jason Statham, so the good guy is bald, and so is the bad guy, since we never really know which one he is.

But Hollywood, keep it coming, never change, don't ever come up with something new and unpredictable. Because I think that would blow our small little human brains, and I don't know if there are many of us that could handle it. I even think it would be more hysteria than when Facebook changes it lay outs or looks. Which I really hate when happens by the way!