Things I love to hate

I have come to the conclusion that I must be a little mad. This may come as a shock to you all, but it’s true. I catch myself watching, reading or doing stuff that really irritates me, but I end up doing it anyway, because I kind of love to sit there and hate it.
I sometimes sit around watching a program, getting all wound up and shouting at the TV, all like “What the hell is this?! Why are you going into the basement alone you crazy sod?!” and realise I’m really enjoying myself. Yeah, I love to sit and point out faults in TV series, magazines, movies, Facebook statuses etc., etc. Which makes me kind of a bitter weirdo really? But oh well, it is not going to change so I am just going to make this bitter blog post anyway.
Here is the list of the things I love to hate, and why:

Blogs that have pictures of people’s coffee and food and pointless information about all the things they did in their day. A typical one of those:

Hi all my fancy readers!

Are you all feeling absolutely fab today?
I know I am! This is my lucky day. I woke up just feeling all rested and excited, I went to meet my friend for coffee and breakfast, we just chatted for ages, and it was so much fun. Then I went and got my hair done, and guess what I am a total BLONDIE now!! OMG! After this I cleaned the whole flat, did some yoga, fed the ducks in the park, and now I am going to make dinner and have some friends over! Hopefully they will bring some wine, I sure deserve it!
Here are some pictures from today:

(This is the typical picture, I have seen hundreds of these. Why is it so important to take a picture of your coffee? We all drink coffee or tea, it is not something special or unusual that is only happening in your life!)

 

 

(Then it is the close up on their food, which never looks good. It is typical just a boring picture of toast, which again, nothing special about it, just makes me love to hate the blog even more..)

Then it always ends with something like this:

How was your day? Also FAB?!
Lots of kisses my dear loved ones xxx
(Underneath this will be a thousands of comments saying: OMG, I had coffee today too! You rock, love your pics!)

My dear beloved blogger, you must be lying about all of this. This is simply not possible. I never wake up feeling rested and excited, I wake up with a horrible taste in my mouth, dribble all over my pillow and myself, and I never feel excited about leaving my bed! When I have finally won this battle within, gotten up and started my day, I know that all of this is just not feasible in the 15 hours we have before we need sleep again. First getting up and dressed, make up (which I know you take a lot of time with, because I have seen your pathetic mirror pictures taken in your bathroom), that is at least two hours. Then you went for coffee and chatted for ages, I take that as two hours at least! Then the hairdresser which is also two hours, (we are now up in 6 hours), then you have cleaned the whole house and done yoga? That must be 4 hours! Feed the ducks, half hour, then dinner and friends over?! And I haven’t even taken the pee breaks, travel time from coffee shop to home, home to yoga, yoga to feed ducks, getting the groceries for the night, and getting home into the equation. How is this all possible? And not to mention that you had to write this blog post too! You are lying about your day! I don’t believe that this life of yours is real. Stop lying and just admit that you are no better then the rest of us. Sometimes you walk around in your pajamas all day, and watch shit TV, but dude, it is okay to do that. And I would have been impressed by you for only cleaning your house and doing yoga! That would be enough for me. You have just created some kind of fictional superhero blog where Time is the villain and you are winning over TIME. That is not what life is about, winning over time. Just calm down, and stop lying about doing EVERYTHING in one day, and enjoy it instead. It sounds very stressful, that is if you are not on speed or coke or something. Which makes you a drug addict, and that is NOT cool.

I see now that I really, REALLY loved to hate this topic. It became longer then I had expected, so instead of making a list of more things, I will continue this later! Anyway, yeah I am a retard for reading these blogs and then blogging about how much I hate them, but at least they are getting their blog read! Doesn’t matter to them if I like it or not as long as I am not commenting mean stuff, which I don’t do, I just keep it to my own blog and make up a fake blog post I can rip on.
Yeah I really am weird… Here is a picture of how fresh and rested I look in the morning:

 SEE? Not happy, excited, rested or fabulous! Just really sad for having to wake up and get out of bed.